Practices Guide

The next twelve practices are the practical part of this book — a toolbox you can use to turn reflection into action.
They are not “tasks” to complete in order, but simple tools to choose from depending on what you need most.

How to use this section

• Pick one practice at a time
  You don’t need to do all twelve in a row. Start with the one that feels most relevant today. If you’re unsure, begin with Practice 1, 2, 3 (Conditions, Needs, Functions) to get a clear snapshot of where you are.

• Use them in different ways
  Some practices are quick checklists (15 minutes), others are deeper conversations (30–40 minutes). Choose what fits your time and energy.

• Repeat and return
  These tools are reusable. A practice that felt “done” last month might reveal something new if you try it again later.

• Combine when useful
  Practices connect naturally. For example:

  • Use Practice 5 (Individual Vision) before Practice 12 (Shared Vision).
  • Use Practice 6 (Change Table) together with Practice 7 (Priority Matrix) to turn vision into steps and priorities.
  • Use Practice 8 (Retrospective) to check in regularly and decide which practice to try next.

• Make it yours
  Adapt the wording, change the order, or shorten the steps. The framework is here to support you, not to limit you.

Outcome

A practical, flexible way to keep your relationship healthy and intentional.
Think of these practices as conversation starters and structure builders — small, repeatable tools that help you act on what matters most.