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Practice 2. Needs Checklist

Use this page to uncover what you really need right now—both as an individual and as a couple.
Needs often hide behind arguments about chores, money, or time. Naming them directly turns tension into understanding.

You’ll need: pen, paper (or this page)
Time: 10–15 minutes
Use when:

  • Arguments repeat without resolution
  • You feel unseen or misunderstood
  • You want to connect what matters to “I” and to “We”

1. Physiological / basic

  • ☐ Health (sleep, nutrition, physical activity)
  • ☐ Sexual intimacy
  • ☐ Safety (housing, financial stability)

2. Emotional / psychological

  • ☐ Love and attachment (feeling loved and needed)
  • ☐ Recognition and respect (feeling valued in your partner’s eyes)
  • ☐ Support and attention (empathy, care)
  • ☐ Emotional safety (ability to be yourself without fear)

3. Development / growth

  • ☐ Personal development (learning, skills, creativity)
  • ☐ Self-realization (sense of meaning and achievement)
  • ☐ Novelty and experiences (travel, hobbies, new practices)

4. Shared / couple

  • ☐ Common goals (the family’s future, projects, plans)
  • ☐ Traditions and rituals (shared holidays, routines)
  • ☐ Shared time (quality, not just quantity)
  • ☐ Sense of “we” (identity of the couple, not just two individuals)

5. Social / external

  • ☐ Recognition as a couple (from family, friends, and the community)
  • ☐ Social support (to avoid isolation)
  • ☐ Harmony with the surrounding environment (minimal external pressure)

My notes and additions






Outcome: A prioritized list of personal and shared needs that clarifies what matters most right now.