Practice 4. Simplified Diagnostic¶
This page is for when you want a quick snapshot of your relationship.
Instead of going in circles, it helps each of you name the conditions, needs, and functions that matter most right now.
You’ll need: pen, paper (or this page)
Time: 15–20 minutes
Use when:
- You want to quickly see what’s going on right now
- You feel stuck in the same arguments
- You want to move from “talking” to “understanding”
Step 1. Individual selection¶
1. Choose up to 5 key conditions that influence your life right now:¶
2. Choose up to 5 needs that are most important to you right now:¶
3. Assess the functions:¶
- What I do well:
- What I lack:
Step 2. Short answers¶
Answer freely (in 2–3 sentences):
- What do I like about how we live now?
- What is the hardest for me right now in our relationship?
- Which of my personal strengths supports our relationship?
- What do I need most from you right now?
Step 3. Joint discussion¶
After filling it out individually, discuss together:
- Where the selected conditions and needs overlap, where they differ.
- What each person does well and where support is needed.
- Read your short answers to each other.
Outcome: A shared snapshot of your current conditions, needs, and functions, turning vague frustration into clear talking points.